If I wrote a dictionary, the word “SHOULD” wouldn’t be found. I try not to use it with myself and try even harder not to use it toward anyone else.
Think of all instances where the word is used
Maybe they were mad at you,
so they told you what you should do.
Or they thought you were “wrong”, so they told you what you should do.
“should” is a punishing word.
When we’ve messed up and are beating ourselves up, we use the word “should”.
“I should have done this, but I…”
“I shouldn’t do that, but I…”
Should is the word people use to blame and shame one another and themselves.
It NEVER feels good. And we can’t help but resent people who “should” us.
If possible rip the word “should” out of your vocabulary for all your relationships.
blaming kills relationships and “should” is the word for shaming and blaming.
Try your best to understand
your partner’s perspective.
DO NOT underestimate the effect of blame destroying a
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